Monday, July 8, 2013

What women want

I am reading a book about women and sex and it is affirming. This book singles out research that supports the idea that women are voracious and omnivorous when it comes to sex. They are aroused by almost any sign of sexuality, gay, straight or bestial, they tire of a partner quickly and are ready to have sex again almost as soon as they have uncoupled from a partner.

Of course this kind of research appeals to me. Like everyone I just want scientific evidence to support the little known fact that I am not abnormal, I am just like everybody else.  Societal values, this book suggests, stop women from following their true natures. I am denying my true nature. 

Sometimes, often, when I am enveloped by sadness, I know it is because I have abandoned the fulfilment of lust for the fulfilment of love.

I send out random feelers of lust to every passing warm body, heat seeking, sniffing out the possibility of sex.  

I know I am happy, but in the same way that I acknowledge humour - 'that's funny', I say, without so much as smiling whilst those around me are laughing and clinging to their guts.

I am happy. I know I am happy but the happiness of the love I want is a taught membrane over the cavernous gulf of voracious, indiscriminate lust. I finish, uncouple, and feel that warm contentment that comes with orgasm, but it is never long before that gulf opens wide and I am peering down into my disappointment. "I am so happy." I say, but my face makes a lie of it. 

I am. I am happy. I have the best in the world, but there are always more. And this book underlines a certain longing.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the blog. I enjoyed reading it especially because you articulate your position so well.
Your description of female desire clashes with the image or the personae presented by the woman I meet. These woman are settled with children, pets, cars, houses and husbands and its looks as if something inside of of them is dying based on your description of female desire.
Please let us know the title of the book that you have referred to.

Krissy Kneen said...

Hi. The title of the book is What Do Women Want. great read.

Belligerent Fanny said...

I was sent to your blog by an orange and it has not disappointed. You have articulated this feeling so well here that it makes me feel a great sadness about myself but also contentment in knowing that it's shared. I'm sure that I could draw something more from this experience but words are not my forte.