Sunday, July 29, 2012

Honesty

I don't know if I have talked about honesty. I have a terrible habit of opening my mouth and letting the truth spill out unchecked. It is how I wrote Affection, carelessly and with an open heart and open mouth. It is how I live my life in general. If you are secretive then you become vulnerable so I just try to be honest most of the time.

Lately I have been censoring myself. It is facebook that is the problem. I'll say my day is less than great and suddenly I will be buried under well wishes. I will admit that something I am working on is terrible and people will leap in to assure my it isn't so.  Well, actually, sometimes what I create is terrible. Most of what I write is unmemorable, some days are awful, almost all of the time I don't look beautiful and I am not just saying this to get a wash of positive affirmations back. I am being honest. These are the truths. I don't need people to reassure me otherwise.

If I am less than beautiful then that is ok. That is a good place to start creating art from. Who needs the beautiful amongst us to write all the stories. If some of my days are bleak then that is fine too. One day it will turn around and I will be content for a brief period.  Sometimes (often) my writing is less than poetic. That is as it should be. I should be strong enough to admit when something I have created has little worth. This is part of the practice.

I don't know what to do about this. I could leave facebook. It is a place that supports all my bad work and my ugliness and urges me to be a happy shiny person.

3 comments:

little hat said...

I could say something reassuring but I'll resist. Yeah. You say it, you own it, and I don't get why people feel the need to save one/you when they might be better off reflecting on when and why they might be afraid of being that honest or vulnerable..

Melba said...

You could leave facebook, yes, or you could not say that stuff there. Keep it for here.

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I love your honesty Krissy and your writing. It's that simple and I don't think you should censor yourself for the reasons you say.

Krissy Kneen said...

I have found the filters on facebook and yes I will save it for here. x