It is important to masturbate after the submission. It is like a gift to your body for holding you upright through the horrible days you have just endured. This is nothing of course. This is as a period is in relation to birth. This cramp that has lasted days will be repeated again at confirmation, and then in the weeks and months leading up to the final submission. Still, this is like your first ever menstrual bleed, the one that made you frightened you had somehow damaged yourself, drawing blood. The one that made you so nauseous you vomited at school.
I am lying in a bath when the cramping has stopped for a moment. Of course there will be revisions. It will not pass. I know this as surely as I know how painful the final writing up will be. They will send me back but by then I will be clear headed and rested. I will have an idea of it and it will just be cutting back.
So lying in the bath.
Difficult to concentrate when any mention of sex feels like it needs a citation. This orgasm here and now needs to be situated in a literary history of all orgasms. Is it as great as the ones described by Alina Reyes? Anais Nin? Ian McEwan? Did McEwan ever mention women's orgasms at all? What external visual or textual stimulus will need to be taken into consideration with this particular climax?
So lying in the bath I hope, sincerely, that I can switch my exhausted, limp, inquiring mind off long enough to come.