Friday, June 10, 2011


The relief. Something I was dreading, that discussion where I have to defend my stance on my own pornographic fiction. It is over now and I survived although I am a little shaken. Not as bad as it could be. Not as bad as being naked on the stage at a writers festival with Dworkin in the audience. That is the ultimate moment of debasement. Someone entirely dedicated to a hatred of the pleasure I have spent my life on, looking at my tired old cunt and saggy tits.

On this day the jacket of my new book was released into the world here
On this day I survived the first round of my own defense. I am exhausted. I retire to the couch where I treat myself to some furtive masturbation under the cover of a throw. It is not the worst day but it is a day that has played havoc with my relationship to the work.

Lets see what tomorrow brings.

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