She sat beside me in class. It is hard not to look at her breasts because they are large but also because she wears clothes that show them off in a rather suggestive way. She is gorgeous, really, so smart and really quite gregarious. She reminds me of a younger version of myself. We talk about sex. She likes sex quite a lot. It is easy to pick a fellow addict and she is one it is clear.
"I had a little cry today," she says. "A boy I met on the internet saw a picture of me and told me I was too fat."
My heart clenches. I remember.
"The internet is a cruel place." I say.
"I don't know how else to meet men."
There is only a bunch of years between me and her. I feel my skin becoming thinner. Her flesh is mine. I identify too closely. If I think about it too hard I become her. The horror of each new interaction. The opening up to the same taunts and terrors that made the school yard into a war zone.
"Fuck him." I say.
She says "Sure. That's what I thought, but I still had to have a little cry."