Ah eratic behaviour. Does the word have anything to do with eros? Perhaps grammatically not and yet one leads to the other ultimately. I am ridiculously inconsistent. I have always been so. I reconnect with his family and I remember how I flitted from one idea to the next. And yet, behind this is the solid guard dog of my love and care. Always. If I have said that I love you, I will love you forever. This is the truth of it. I may rage and tear my hair and unwind in jealous tangles. I may become some dirvish, some succubus, some crazed creature you would rather avoid. Still I stand at your door panting, through the decades.
I love you now and always is not some trap. I bristled. I thought it was meant to scold me for my lack of contact and my distance. I understand it now. Love, now and always, no matter how distant we become. Our separate parts of the world forever connected by this thin thread of concern that will never be broken.